图片设计:吴文涛


第二部分 对症下药,逐一对付

4.自怜

凡与爱为敌的都是罪,自怜就是其中一类。

爱使我们怜悯别人,但自怜叫我们不爱别人只爱自己。这样的爱是错误的,其实是一种“自恋病”,我们纵容自己,让罪恶在里面滋长除非彻底治死这种罪,否则我们的新人不能够出来。


当神要管教责罚我们的时侯,我们自怜的毛病就尤其明显这是很危险的,因为我们往往没有觉察到这是一种罪,以致在不知不觉中助长了“旧人”的增长,落在魔鬼的掌握中,难以战胜罪恶。


归根究底,自怜的根源在于我们不肯承认自己是个需要受管教的罪人。要是我们看到自己的罪,就会对神的管教感激不尽,不再自怨自艾,对所受的痛苦也不觉得是怎么一回事了。


神要我们:"追求……圣洁,非圣洁没有人能见主。"(来12:14)自怜的人没有遵行神的话,追求圣洁,渴慕得见耶稣,反给自我迷恋着他们受到神的管教或责罚时,就怨天尤人,把责任全推在神身上,以致和神有了阻隔,甚至惹来神的怒气。


这些人对罪缺乏正确的了解,因此看不到自己的过犯,也根本不明白这些管教是为了使他们“在神的圣洁上有份”(来12:10)。他们看不见撒但正在他们背后暗自偷笑,因为牠己达到目的,令他们成为“自我”的俘虏。


是的,自怜往往令我们与神的教训背道而驰,因此,当神管教、审判我们的时候,我们就要格外留神地审察自己。使徒保罗说:“我们若是先分辨(审察)自己,就不至于受审。我们受审的时候,乃是被主惩治,免得我们和世人一同定罪。”(林前11:31-32)


圣经给我们一个挑战,要我们彻底治死我们的“旧人”,好叫我们能免受将来神的审判。“落在永生神的手里,真是可怕的!”(来10:31)


必须下定决心除去我们的自怜,否则它会在我们心里助长其他的罪恶。我们一起了自怜的念头,就要立刻求告主名,高声说:


“主啊,我不要再自怜自叹。我是一个罪人,该受审判和管教的。我罪大恶极,祢的刑罚对我实在太宽容了。”


“主啊,恳切求你使我从怜爱自己,转为怜悯别人。”


耶稣怜悯我们,祂会继续管教我们,使我们得以完全,好叫神可以宽容我们,以恩慈待我们。


自怜是滋生罪恶的温床。要从罪中得释放的人,必须不惜任何代价,也要把自怜连根拔起。

You Will Never Be the Same

Dr. Basilea Schlink

PART TWO: Individual Sins 

Self-Pity


Everything that is an enemy of love is sin. Indeed, the sin against love is the greatest sin, because love is the greatest achievement of Jesus' redemption.


Self-pity is one of the sins against love. Having compassion for others is an attribute of love. But when we pity ourselves, we only love ourselves, not others. Our love is on the wrong track; it has a false object. Although our love should really belong to our neighbours, we withdraw it from them and become guilty of withholding love from them. Self-pity belongs to the "ego-illnesses". We pamper our egos, in which this sin sits; yet this sin will have to die if the new man is to arise.


This is especially evident during times when God chastens and judges us. During such times we often pity ourselves. It is especially dangerous, because we usually do not recognize it as a sin and do not realize that our self-pity strengthens our "old man". It places us in the enemy's hand and deprives us of the possibility of overcoming in our fight against sin.


The root of self-pity is our reluctance to admit that we are sinners, who need to be chastened. If we recognized our sins and mistakes, we would be grateful when God begins to attack them, when He judges and chastens us, even though it might hurt. Instead of pitying ourselves and complaining, we would only find that what we have to suffer in the way of chastening is much too little.


Those who pity themselves do not have the right attitude towards sin. Although they do not realize it, they cannot admit their sin. When they get into trouble, they accuse God instead of themselves and thus they set up a barrier against God, they even call down His wrath upon themselves and forfeit their heavenly glory. Those who pity themselves do not act according to the words of Scripture, "Strive . . . for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord" (Heb. 12: 14).


They are not consumed by the desire to attain holiness and see Jesus. Rather, they are fascinated by their own egos. When they are being chastened and judged by God, they complain that things are not going well with them. That makes them incapable of seeing that it is the chastening that will help them "share his holiness" (Heb. 12: 10). 


Nor can they see that Satan is standing behind them, laughing scornfully when they complain and pity themselves. For now he has attained his goal, they have fallen prey to an idol, their own egos. Satan knows that self-pity furthers every other sin and therefore it is a triumph for him.


Yes, with our self-pity we are reacting just the opposite of how the Holy Scriptures say we should act. We should judge ourselves. That means that we are supposed to judge ourselves especially severely when God judges and chastens us. The Apostle Paul writes, "But if we judged ourselves truly, we should not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are chastened so that we may not be condemned along with the world" (1 Cor. 11 : 31, 32).


The Holy Scriptures are challenging us to take a stand against our "old man", to condemn it with its sin so that God does not have to do this one day. "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Heb. 10: 31), for God, the judge, is a consuming Fire. That is why our goal must always be to let ourselves be judged for our egoistic sins like self-pity. We must condemn ourselves so that the judgment of God, His severe punishment, will not strike us in eternity.


We must renounce our self-pity with complete resoluteness. We cannot afford to give any room in our hearts to self-pity, which nourishes many other sins.


At the very first thought of self-pity that comes to us, we must call upon the blood of the Lamb and say aloud, or to ourselves:


I do not want to have anything more to do with self-pity; I am a sinner and need this judgment and chastening. I am receiving a lenient punishment for what my deeds are really worth.


For the sake of Your redemption, Jesus, I will not let You go unless You change my self-pity into compassion for others. I want to condemn my self-pity ever anew, so that You will not have to judge me for it one day.


Then Jesus will have compassion on us; then He will finish His work of education in us and take us out of this school again at His timing. When we take measures against our self-pity without sparing ourselves, God the Father will spare us and lovingly treat us like His own Son.


Self-pity and making excuses are the soil that nourishes our sin. Whoever wants to be set free from his sin must pull it out of this soil no matter how high the price.